LCMS Convention Workbook St. Louis, Missouri — 1983, Page 330

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330

THEOLOGICAL DOCUMENTS

Sexual intercourse engaged in outside of the marriage
relationship is forbidden by the Scriptures and must be con-
demned by the church (Gen. 2:24: 1 Thess. 4:2-5: ef. Gal. 5:19:
Eph 5:3: Col. 3:5: 1 Cor. 6:16-20).!* This. of course, includes all
casual sexual relations. which are accepted practice in our
society, and arrangements whereby couples live together with-
out being married. Even when the partners feel themselves
united by a deep bond of love and intend to be married at some
point in the future (“engagement”). the same judgment must be
made.*: Where there is no commitment to a complete. lifelong
sharing of life in marriage. sexual relations are contrary to
God's will.

Because marriage is not essentially a legal or ecclesiastical
matter, it is possible. however, for a man and woman to give
themselves physically to each other, affirming to each other and
to the public their consent to share their future lives in a
permanent union. recognizing that their union might be fruitful
and to do this without a public ceremony. Sucha relationship in
reality constitutes marriage (common-law marriage}? and
cannot be called fornication. While not a violation of the Sixth
Commandment, such a way of proceeding may involve an
element of deceit in that it implies that the individuals involved
are living in a single state. a condition which does not in fact
exist and which may cause offense to some. Moreover. this
relationship sets aside the regular societal safeguards which
have been established for the protection of the rights and
interests of all the parties involved. and in some states it is a
violation of the legal requirements for marriage.*

Christians hold to the principle that the Fourth Comand-

man had vet been given, God himself had not vetannounced His
good pleasure. Against the background of all the stately
cadences in chapter 1 which had pronounced the various
aspects of creation “very good.” we hear now a different divine
utterance. It is “not good”—not good that the man should be
alone.

God therefore provides the woman as helpmeet. This means
not primarily one who will help the man as an assistant in his
work. Rather, the woman is "a helping being. in which. as soon
as he sees it. he may recognize himself.” She is the mirror in
which the man will come to know himself as man. The man and
woman have been created toward fellowship, and neither ean
come to know the self rightly apart from the other. The woman
is given to the man in order that neither of them may be alone.
that together they may know themselves in relation to one who
is other than self.:*

Having created the woman. God brings her tothe man. and
he in turn responds with those words which we have read rather
too solemnly: "At last!” At last, here is one who is “bone of my
bone and flesh of my flesh.” This is an expression of “joyous
astonishment.” * It is Romeo's "Q. she doth teach the torches to
burn bright!"—uttered when he catches sight of Juliet.:* The
predicament of the man’s loneliness—his “aloneness"—has been
discerned and overcome by God's creative Word. A relation has
been established in which one may come to know oneself and the
other ina fellowship of love.

The union of husband and wife extends to the most intimate
sharing in the act of sexual intercourse. The complete physical
sharing of husband and wife is characterized by relaxation.
enjoyment. and freedom from guilt. Decisions relative to this
physical sharing should be made by husband and wife after
prayerful discussion, as they keep in mind always that mutual

enjoyment of God's beautiful gift is the goal they both seek 11
Thess. 4:4-5: 1 Cor. 7:5). Couples need to remember that their

14

ment (“Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother. that it may
be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth") must
also be applied to the estate of marriage. Accordingly. the
blessing of parents will ordinarily be sought. Christian couples.
in keeping with the Fourth Commandment's injunction that
parents in all things be honored and held in high esteem by their
children, will already have sought the blessing of their parents
on their union prior to the marriage ceremony. Such couples
will therefore recognize the appropriateness of inviting parents
to declare their blessings upon their union. Christians recognize
that God's blessings follow when those desiring to enter
marriage seek the advice and consent of parents on decisions of
importance to a wider circle of persons than themselves alone.
God's order of things concerning the family and civil order
should not be disparaged or ignored. “Be subject for the Lord's
sake to every human institution. .."(1 Peter 2:13a)

B. The Purposes of Marriage
1. Mutual Love: The Relational Purpose of Ma rriage

The Bible. despite its quite natural preoccupation with
other concerns. is not oblivious to the awesome human sig-
nificance of the encounter between a man and a woman who
give themselves fully to each other in a “one flesh” union of
love.!! The relation between husband and wife hasa significance
and meaning in and of itself. distinct from any other purposes
(such as procreation! which their union may serve.

This relational aspect of marriage is emphasized in Genesis
2. The beasts of the field. the birds of the air, every living
creature has been called forth by the creative Word of God. And
then, as the pinnacle of this creation. the man has been formed
from the dust of the ground. Obedient to his Creator. he names
the animals. placing each in its appropriate role beneath
himself. But. we read. “For the man there was not found a
helper fit for him" (Gen. 2:20). No answer to the loneliness of the

physical commitments are personal commitments. The act of
intercourse is described in the Bible as an act of Knowing:
“Adam knew Eve his wife” (Gen. 4:1). This is no mere euphe-
mism: or, if itis. it has an uncanny aptness. In the intimate
sharing of the sexual act. a union in which the self is naked
before the other. a unique knowing takes place. This is not
knowledge ahout sex. [tis knowledge of the self and the other as
sexual beings united with one another in this most intimate
union of giving and receiving.* The man and the woman. two
different beings. while retaining teven accenting? their differ-
ences. nevertheless become one. The knowledge of that fellow-
ship—like the knowledge of that fellowship in which God
“knows” those who are His—can never be fully communicated
apart from the ex perience of the union itself. It can on!y be said
thatin this union the partners come to know themselves even as
they know the other. They know themselves only “in relation” to
each other.

It is. of course, possible to forget that we are here talkingof
mutual /v and to imagine that nothing more thana satisfaction
of sexual appetite is involved. Clearly. however, though we
might settle for no more than that. todo so would be to fall short
of the personai relationship for which God has created us. The
satisfaction of appetite alone. apart from any commitment of
love, has not yet risen from the animal to the hu man. personal
sphere.-'

To crew aur secantity in the cuntest af a persanal
relationship af nreations dace and cunimtment on Ture rth
helps us to evaluate the practice af mastarhation (dute

clearly. chronic masturhat: Us short of the Creator's

ute ation far aur use of the gi uf xe sanlety namely, thatoar
serual devs should tn oriented tewacd commayian auth
tinother persian in the mutual lave aed cupminitine ot oF
marriage. By ts erg nature mastarhaticn xs perritte s xe tot
“4
ronrse on the marital wean and ls samptomutir

sutistnction from the yee

anid ree clng of xe rue

tendered kamen bein
satistaetiog: of their sis
La chil dhamd. masts

stu turn on ayn themselves fur tha

hateon mig alten ben tari of

153)