# Der Lutheraner_St. Louis Missouri_1847 01 05_S54
# AI translation — CHI Digital Archive (demonstration)

— give up the children already, and simply not worry; that it would be impossible for me to keep the children; that I was being childish to grieve so; that what could not be changed must be committed to God; and why had I taken a Catholic husband in the first place?*)

*) Thus speaks unbelief, and it is a sorry comforter.

In this anguish of soul we cried earnestly to God and comforted ourselves with his promise, believing without doubt that God must help us, and sighing heartily that God would warn us should the danger grow greater; we also read diligently in the Bible and in Arndt's True Christianity, which we had. For "affliction teaches one to heed the Word," and drives one to prayer.

But because I had always contended only for the daughters, while giving up the sons entirely without a struggle, I became aware through this how great a wrong I was doing in letting the latter enter into an erroneous religion without any warning whatever. This gnawed at me day and night, so that I felt compelled to ask my clergy for advice; but they comforted me more than they dared tell me what they truly thought, for in those times they were far too constrained and had to proceed with great caution. God stand by them!

Meanwhile I took my eldest son, Anton Adrian von Reibnitz, to be Catholic-minded, and was very much on my guard before him lest I be betrayed; over which he, when he noticed it, several times wept bitterly and lamented: "Ah, my God, have mercy on me too! If only I knew how I should be saved!"1) Such words I indeed heard from his mouth with very sorrowful sighing; but since I stood under the godless delusion that he must one day become Catholic, I did not wish to disturb him in it, and let him go on — as I now well recognize — in a wholly unchristian way, without admonition or instruction. Also my fear of, and love for, my dear husband were far too great, which to my shame I will not conceal. So evil is the counsel of our own flesh and blood.

Now I had long had a great longing to hear, at least once, the well-known and zealous Herr Schwedler, but was always prevented. Yet God in his goodness arranged it so that my dear husband allowed me to drive over to church at Niederwiese 4) to hear him at Easter. There Herr M. Schwedler had to say, in his sermon on Easter Monday: "Consider how it would be, in the heart of a mother who has any Christian feeling at all, if her child were torn from her arms and drawn into an erroneous religion!" These words all but broke my heart, and with many tears I begged God not to forsake me, a poor afflicted mother. I resolved to speak in person with this godly priest, however long I might have to wait for the opportunity, since I believed this faithful servant of Christ would have much to say to me. The more I perceived, from the many obstacles placed in my way, that Satan wished to hinder me from becoming acquainted with this priest, the more eagerly I sought edification through this precious man, and said to my three children who were with me: "Take heed — God will show his wondrous goodness to us greatly; but pray diligently, hope, and do not grow weary."

1) Oh, that young people would take note of this, and learn early, from their youth on, to care for their salvation!

4) This lies in the Upper Lusatia, on the Silesian border.

Now when I had complained to this preacher of my overwhelming anguish of heart and soul, he asked whether I had also shown my eldest son the right way. I said: No, for since he would have to become Catholic, I had not wished to disturb him further. Then this man set before me the great responsibility I bore, and how, as a mother, I was bound to show him, my son, the right way, and, so far as God should grant me the ability, to explain to him their — the Catholics' — errors; and that if the child should then embrace the true religion, it would be my duty, without any regard for my own interest, to save him so far as it lay in my power. This was a hard thing, indeed an impossible one for me — to grieve my dear husband so — yet it pressed very deeply upon my heart; I therefore asked him to write to the worthy Faculty at Wittenberg, to ask whether I could, with a good conscience, separate myself from my dear husband. But no answer ever came. Meanwhile we prayed earnestly the whole way home; God also strengthened us, so that we firmly believed God must help us.

When I then came home on the 11th of April, I asked my eldest son, Anton Adrian, how he had been edified during the holidays (intending thereby to instruct him); but he got ahead of me and said: "Where should I have found edification? I do not understand the Mass, and as for the little tales our priests tell, you know them yourself. Ah, how happy is he who could hear such sermons as you do — he can indeed be edified! Ah, my God, if only I might hear a single evangelical sermon! I beg you, for God's sake, do not take it amiss that I ask: am I not just as much your child as the girls are? Before you would let them become Catholic, you would go to great lengths — but you ask nothing after me. I have given you to understand so often that I do not know how to be saved in the Catholic religion, but you pay it no heed. I am now to go to confession — so I beg, with many tears, for God's sake: save me! The responsibility is yours; I tell you this, and cry out for help! [illegible] If you do not do this, I have cause to accuse you at the Last Judgment. Ah, from my heart I humbly beg your forgiveness for speaking so much — necessity drives me to it!"*)

*) Oh, what concern this young person had for his salvation! Who can read this without being moved? Should not everyone, even one who is still young, ask himself: Now, how do matters stand with me? How do I care for my soul? This child wishes for nothing more than to hear a single evangelical sermon, while I hear so much that is good, and do not recognize it as a blessing!

Thereupon I said, astonished: "How is it possible for me to save you?" But he replied: "Dearest Mother, it is only Schreibendorf that sits so firmly in your heart, along with the fear of dear Father — that is what truly concerns you. I beg you on my knees: help me to become evangelical (Lutheran), and I shall have all that I need! God knows best how many times I have lain upon my knees in the garden and cried out to him to help me, for from men I see no rescue, etc." His confession, he said, had thereupon again been postponed; indeed, he had several times thought of running away, only he did not know where to go.

In order to discern still further the working of the Holy Spirit, I set before my son his father's displeasure. He said: "That is the greatest thing I fear — my dear father's curse — but it cannot harm me. I am doing nothing wicked; I only wish to be saved." I then told him that in that case he could never hope for anything from our estate, and asked what would become of him, since Herr von R., his father's brother, was to have him study and travel. But he answered: "I have already considered all that; but what would it profit me to have and to know everything, and yet remain uncertain of my salvation? I am ready to go away in nothing but the clothes on my back, if only I may become evangelical! God will not forsake me — that I know! Ah, do not take it amiss that I speak such bold words! Since at Pentecost I am to go to confession for the first time, it is now or never for me." Then I said: "Speak on, for flesh and blood has not prompted you to this, but the great grace of God is mighty in your weakness." I promised him that I would save him, with God's help, and that he should continue to pray fervently for the governance of the Holy Spirit. I also asked him what scruples he had concerning the Catholic religion. He said: "Consider only the Ten Commandments. In the First Commandment God says: You shall have no other gods before me. Do you not know how the Catholics fall down before images and embrace and kiss them? These must surely be other gods! I have also often heard how the priests must admit to the Lutherans that the first Christians received Holy Communion in both kinds, but that the Pope changed this for certain reasons of his own, as though he too had such authority — and this must indeed be sin, for in this he wishes to be greater than God!" Then he said to his eldest sister: "My heart burns with joy that dear Mother has promised to save me. God will surely help; let us pray diligently" — and he earnestly exhorted the other children to do the same as well.

1) Prayer is the best help in time of need. Oh, if only all young people would also pray earnestly to God! Surely they would thereby give joy to all of heaven, and God would prepare them to be special instruments, if only they would early in their youth make prayer their most cherished occupation.

So we sighed most earnestly to God,