# LCMS Convention Workbook_St. Louis Missouri_2001_S438 # Machine transcription, uncorrected — CHI Digital Archive (demonstration) 438 ADDITIONAL THEOLOGICAL DOCUMENTS AND REPORTS—OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT of Christ by virtue of Holy Baptism, but that reality needs to be af- firmed and manifested by other members of that same body. For too long. people in the church have excluded homosexuals based on temptation and not sin (see above). Jesus did not hesitate to as- sociate with the “despised” of His day; while not condoning any sin, He did offer them love and acceptance, and it was that action of the Gospel that changed them and brought them to Him. The church, as His body, can and should do no less. Goal Five To help the individual bear his or her burden without fear of recrimination and rejection by sisters and brothers in Christ. One of the ways to help the homosexual is to respect. not reject him or her. A Christian who has had experience in working with homosexuals wrote the following about respect: C. S. Lewis, when speaking about why prayers are not always an- swered like we want them 10 be, said that in his experience il was often the new Christian’s prayers that were granted rather than those with a mature faith. He suggests that as people grow in faith they are sent to defend far more desperate posts with far less help.'* The same could be said about some homosexuals who say they are Christian. They are often assumed to be immature Christians with a weak faith. But in real- ity the opposite is irue. I often find that they are the strongest of all. Christians struggling with homosexuality often have been forced to fight on a lonely battlefield of Christian warfare. Often mistaken for the enemy, they are wounded by those who should be supporting them. With liitle help they fight the battle of temptation alone. Many are lost in the war and turn to the gay lifestyle. But somehow, by God’s grace, a few make it through. And they come out with a strong faith. | never cease to be amazed at the amount of faith | find among these Christians, nor to be angry at those who treat them as mere children in the faith. Finally, help homosexuals by utilizing (but not patronizing) them. One person put it this way: if you want someone who is creative, is hard working, gets along well with people, and has extra time and an abundance of love to share, then find a homosexual. Because we felt unlovable as children we learned how to work hard and be creative so that we could get positive feedback from adults. Because we were teased as children we learned how to handle people to deflect such criticism. We often have a deep knowledge of how people think and act and how to get along with oth- ers. Without families we often have lots of time and energy to give to the church. We have lots of love and caring that we want to share with others. We have felt isolated ourselves and understand those who feel the same way for whatever reason. We want that chance to reach out to them. We have come from the depth of rejection but, having learned the overwhelming power of God's love, we want to let it flow to those around us. So give us a chance. Utilize our talents. With Word and Sacrament, the pastor can help the homosexual to bear his cross and to realize that some people may continue to re- gard him with disdain, even as some people regarded our Lord. The mature members of the congregation can manifest Christian love in their midst and not tolerate biased thinking, rejection, and con- demnation. Goal Six To minister to homosexuals and families that include per- sons of homophile behavior/orientation. The youth ambivalent about sexual identity. Family reactions may include the following: anger (especially on the part of the father), guilt (for assumed errors in parenting or some unrelated parental sin), avoidance of the Christian commu- nity (because they are embarrassed by their “secret”), grief (over the “loss” of a son or daughter), confusion (due to a disruption of the family system), loss of respect (assumed, because they think people will says things like, “We couldn’t elect the father of a ho- mosexual to the board of elders’). The pastor will need to help the family realize that what exists is not their “fault.” He will need to encourage them to be accepting of the homosexual family member while not condoning the person’s 2001 Convention Workbook sins. Some of the steps in assuring the homosexual of acceptance in the church, as explained under Goals Four and Five above, may be helpful here. Recrimination and rejection by individual church members will have to be dealt with individually, as outlined in, for example, Matthew 18. On discovering that a son or daughter in a family of the congre- gation has declared his or her homosexuality, the pastor should in- vite the other adult family members to meet with him to speak openly about their feelings. Gentle encouragement may be neces- sary. The pastor should acknowledge that their feelings are a nor- mal reaction. He should help them to identify one or two dominant feelings. He should ask them to recall the fear, pain, or other emo- tion that the son or daughter showed in disclosing his or her homo- sexuality. Be aware of the family’s pain and acknowledge that it will not quickly go away. Not all tension can or will be resolved. But there are some responses that will help and heal: 1. With each family member, total personhood is more than sexual] orientation. Special gifts and endowments, precious diversity in personality, special filial love are present in sons and daughters, including the one with a homosexual orientation. Celebrate their special gifts. . Sexual orientation does not invalidate Holy Baptism. God’s grace and the inclusion of the baptized into the family of God are fully present in the person of homosexual orientation. God does not love someone less because he or she is homosexual. 3. By family example and teaching, affirm your adherence to the Sixth Commandment, that is, that sexual intimacy is a treasured gift of God, reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. Sexual intimacy outside of that relationship is sin in the sight of God and this family. Taught and lived in the family, this alle- giance to the Commandment positions the family to receive the person but not the behavior contrary to the will of God. This po- sition opens the way to a winsome call to celibacy. i) 4. Do not break off communication. Such rejection risks breaking a relationship that may result in a son or daughter living in the streets or going to “gay activist” groups for support and commu- nity. 5. If disclosure of homosexual orientation triggers sin in the par- ent-child relationship, the family members involved need to practice the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we for- give those who trespass against us.” Asking and offering for- giveness for sins against personal relationships will enhance the love and respect in which the homosexual son or daughter holds the family. 6. This family’s experience has been duplicated in other Christian families. The family should not seek support in homosexual ac- tivist groups but remain in close contact with the pastor and the worshipping community, and obtain one or some of the re- sources suggested in the “Resources” section of this document. 7. If it appears that the family cannot move through this experience without additional help, refer them to Christian counseling. Resources for Futher Study Books Greg L. Bahnsen. Homosexuality: A Biblical View. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978. Available from Concordia Publishing House. This book is in- cluded in the resource list because it is featured in the CPH cata- logue. But this work is not very helpful. It is very heavy on the Law with very little Gospel. Also, there is no distinction made between temptation and sin. Both of these aspects are important when deal- ing with homosexuality from a Lutheran perspective. Michael R. Saia. Counseling the Homosexual: A Compassion- ate and Biblical Guide for Pastors and Counselors as well as Non- professionals. Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1988.