# LCMS Convention Workbook_St. Louis Missouri_2010_S311
# Machine transcription, uncorrected — CHI Digital Archive (demonstration)

311

THEOLOGICAL DOCUMENTS­­—COMMISSION ON THEOLOGY AND CHURCH RELATIONS

lationship to each other. When the pattern of life set forth in these
instructive words forms us, we have the high privilege to “adorn
[literally, ‘decorate’] the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:10)
so that those outside the church may have “nothing evil to say”
(Titus 2:8; cf. v. 5).

Restoring God’s Design in Marriage and Family
Ephesians 5
From the earliest centuries of the Christian era, believers have
looked to Ephesians 5 (and its parallel in Col 3:18–19) for the
Christian perspective on man and woman in the marriage relationship, and rightly so. Nestled in this chapter is the most sustained
and exalted discussion in the New Testament of God’s design for
Christian marriage which is intended to mirror the relationship between Christ and His church.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is
the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also
wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved
the church and gave himself up for her, to make
her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water
through the word, and to present her to himself as
a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any
other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same
way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own
bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After
all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds
and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for
we are members of his body. “For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a
profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ
and the church. However, each one of you also must
love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband. (Eph 5:21–33 NIV)29
In discussing the relationship between husbands and wives, the
apostle begins by encouraging wives to submit themselves to their
husbands. Paul introduces us here to a word that the New Testament writers use often to describe various human relationships—all
of them God-pleasing. Here are some representative examples:
• Jesus submits to His earthly parents while growing up (Luke 2:51)
• Christians submit to political authorities (Rom 13:1,5; Titus 3:1;
1 Pet 2:13)
• The church submits to Christ (Eph 5:24)
• Servants submit to masters (Titus 2:9; 1 Pet 2:18)
• Younger men submit to elders in the church (1 Pet 5:5)
• The church submits to its faithful leaders (1 Cor 16:16).

In Ephesians 5:21, Paul encourages Christians to submit “to one
another out of reverence for Christ.” The expression “to one another” can be interpreted in two different ways. It might mean “everyone to everyone.” In this case, every Christian should be willing
to yield to every other Christian. As Paul says elsewhere, “in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Phil 2:3). Or the
expression might mean “some to others as appropriate” (see also
Gal 6:2; Luke 12:1; Rev 6:4). In this case, the expression would be
applicable for wives to husbands, children to parents, and servants
to masters. In either case, Paul’s encouragement in Ephesians 5:21
is addressed to Christian readers in general and does not set aside the
specifics of the relationship between husband and wife that begins in
Ephesians 5:22.30

The original Greek verb for “submitting to” is appropriately
translated “subject yourself to” another. The word (hypotassõ) is a
combination of the Greek preposition hypo (“under”) and the verb
tassõ (“to arrange”), signifying an ordered place or arrangement.
Foreign to this good and common word in the Scriptures are negative thoughts of inferior human ability or worth, of lesser intelligence or competence. Still more foreign are ideas of oppressive
bondage or coerced servitude—as if to make of someone a mere
doormat or slave. Rather, viewed in its full biblical context, and
particularly when it describes Christian conduct in life’s callings,
the word signifies willingly yielding to the other, “an attitude of
looking to another; of putting first the desires of another, of seeking
another’s benefit.”31
The apostle adds that wives are to submit to their husbands “as
to the Lord,” or as he puts it in Colossians, “as is fitting in the
Lord” (Col 3:18). A Christian woman’s devotion to the Lord Jesus
determines why and how she will relate in a God-pleasing way to
the husband God has given to her. Such submission, however, must
not be understood in the unqualified sense of subservience. All
too frequently situations arise where wives, too, must “obey God
rather than men” (Acts 5:29)—obedience requiring, for instance,
that they not endanger their own lives or their children because of a
husband’s violence.
Christ loves His bride, the church, with a self-sacrificial love,
and because He is her Savior He presents her to Himself “brilliant
in purity”32 (ESV, “in splendor”; v. 27). Just as the church gladly
and wholeheartedly submits to and serves Jesus Christ her “head,”
so also the wife submits herself to her husband as her head. Hence,
the church models for her the kind of relationship she seeks to have
and enjoy with her husband. Depending on Jesus as her Lord and
Savior, she is freed to regard her submission to her husband as an
expression of willing devotion to Christ. Hers is a high and honorable calling, for when she subjects herself to her husband she
reflects for others to see—in a way beyond our power to grasp fully
(Eph 5:32)—how the church subjects herself to Christ.
The Apostle Paul calls the husband “the head” of the wife as
Christ is “the head” of the church (Eph 5:23). It should be noted
that the Greek term translated as “head” (kephalé), when used
metaphorically, denotes the ruler or leader of another—not, as is
sometimes claimed, a source (e.g., the head of a river) or a culminating point (e.g., bringing matters to a head).33 For example, earlier in Ephesians Paul uses the term “head” to refer to Christ as the
ascended Lord of all: “And he [God the Father] put all things under
his feet and gave him [the risen and ascended Christ] as head over
all things to the church” (Eph 1:22; see also Col 2:10). The analogy
of Christ’s relationship to the church as “head” implies that authority belongs to the husband’s headship. When paired with “body,”
the term “head” denotes what leads the body (see also 1 Cor 12).
The character and exercise of this authority, however, needs to be
understood carefully. He is not to dominate, rule harshly, exploit,
or embitter her life (Col 3:19). The strength of his love determines
the husband’s conduct as head of his wife. As Christ, the Head of
the church cares for all the members of His body, so also the husband, as head, is to care for and value his wife as himself.
Paul’s directive to wives to submit to their husbands is a challenging one. Just as challenging is Paul’s directive to husbands:
“love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up
for her” (Eph 5:25; see also Col 3:19). The word used for “love”
here is the well-known Greek word agapé. Contrary to what one
may expect, the command to show agapé is addressed here only to
the husband. This agapé love denotes something much more profound than emotional or romantic love. A person does not “fall in”
or “out of” this love (agapé). Distinctive to the character of this

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